You have just experienced a shocking discovery about the circumstances of your birth; it may be a DNA surprise about the true identity of your father. It could be that you have only now discovered that you were adopted, or that you were donor-conceived. Whatever the news, it has sent you reeling; you don’t know how to react or who you are, at your core.
People in this situation are sometimes referred to as an NPE: someone who’s experienced a Not Parent Expected result or a Non-Parental Event. The NPE experience can involve several complex and intersectional forms of trauma: Loss and Grief; Dysfunctional Family Dynamics; Identity Disruption Trauma; Intergenerational Trauma; Shame and Blame; and Reconstruction of the Self.
As someone who has unexpectedly become part of this NPE experience, you may feel betrayed, or as though your whole life has been a lie. You might have questions about your cultural or religious identity, based on this new knowledge. You are certainly wondering what this means in regard to your family relationships, both old and new, now that this discovery has been made.
In the midst of the chaos that is a surprise DNA, adoption, or donor-conceived discovery, there is hope. As a certified trauma recovery coach, specializing in addressing the emotional aftermath of those who are grappling with an NPE discovery, I offer you the opportunity to talk in depth about your experience with someone who understands the issues you’re facing.
Through the coaching process, we will work together to
- Compassionately understand that you are grieving your past identity
- Curiously explore the ways that this traumatic experience has changed you
- Courageously set goals to find the way forward with your past family and your newfound
family
My role is to support you through this process, providing both a listening ear and the resources to help you as you make your way toward a more balanced and healthy perspective on your NPE journey. I look forward to our work together!